Last month we said we’d report back to you regarding our last post on the role of communication/self-awareness as we went about some major renovations in our office kitchen and bathroom areas.  It was a bit of a rocky start given the right hand (electricians) wasn’t always aware of what the left hand (plumbers) was doing and vice versa, which of course was the job of project management.  How did it correct itself so quickly? Well, it didn’t correct itself, which is why communication is so pivotal. It was simply a matter of the office owner (yours truly here) taking the initiative to ask questions regarding her shared observations of the aforementioned. I first plead ignorance with the project manager when it comes to the construction industry, which seemed to remove any sense of threat. I broached the topic in an information-gathering mode (“Hey, educate me here.”) while allowing everyone to hear my concerns out of possible ignorance. It’s a communication tactic that has its place in certain situations. And there are variations of this as well. For example, anybody remember the TV series Colombo back in the olden days? He was “dumb as a fox” while taking care of business. You could say all this is related to the value of humility in effective leadership.

My biggest blunder in sales during my earlier years was related to when “more is less”. I would oversell. I honestly just couldn’t see how someone would NOT want our hallmark PLDP, so I figured I must be leaving out something. Or maybe they needed more proof. I finally resorted to another version of the law of polarities, a positive one that goes like this:

When you give up control, you get it. I abandoned the need to control the outcome of the sale and found I could live with “just ask the basic questions, give the basic facts, and answer any and all questions.” Funny thing, sales went up when my “efforts” went down.

Drawing upon a submission to The Leadership Trust® LinkedIn Group from Michelle Poche Flaherty  (Founder & President, City on a Hill Consulting, Inc.), I find fascinating this recent HBR article by Zenger and Folkman on “Are You Sure You’re Not a Bad Boss?”. Sometimes when I present to audiences interested in leadership topics, I ask them if they’ve ever known a leader who ____________.  Regardless of the negative behavior I throw out there, the hands are certain to shoot up, but when I ask if anyone out there might do this stuff, there is inevitably some nervous laughter. It’s so easy to see in others what we may miss in ourselves. I’m collecting observations from your own experiences regarding damaging SUBTLE behaviors. Here’s the link to stimulate your thoughts: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/08/are_you_sure_youre_not_a_bad_b.html

Unbelievable! I just replenished a bottle of a nectar concoction for my backyard hummingbirds. Five can easily feed from this bottle and could feed nonstop for an indefinite period of time (thanks to my watchful eye to provide such abundance). Despite all this, the aggression I witness among these birds eliminates any from enjoying this non-stop fountain of fulfillment.  Why this self-defeating ritual that usurps their limited energy to maintain up to 90 flaps of their wings PER SECOND! Because like some self-defeating humans,  they see their world from the perspective of scarcity. Isn’t it amazing this “law of polarities” that ensures it is in giving that we receive! That’s effective leadership. It’s also effective love-ship. When we take care of others, we vicariously take care of ourselves.