Anger is actually a cover-up for fear, hurt, or sadness, but we’re so caught up in our anger that we rarely connect with the soft emotions it tends to belie. Typically when someone makes us angry, we see a direct relationship between our upset and their comment or action.  Yet all of our emotions are driven by beliefs and life experiences, which can explain why some people are oblivious to the same comment that seems to unravel someone else. So what might this suggest? If I have a belief somewhere in the recesses of my mind (whether from my conscious awareness or unawareness) that I do not measure up or may not be good enough, and someone suggests my project is lagging a bit or may not be addressing all the issues, I may find myself feeling angry. However, if that is not a belief residing in my subconscious or past experiences, I may simply ask “How so?” or “Tell me more,” thereby allowing a healthy discussion culminating in my improved project. Point being, once we know our stuff, we can start to manage our anger before we react to comments that end up robbing us of the very credibility we deserve.

This is but one example of the value of self-awareness in leadership and loveship.

Have you noticed that what motivates your baby boomer work associates may have a sizzling effect on your Generation X and Y team members or those younger than mid-40s? That’s because the leadership style of yesteryear that worked with baby boomers does not likewise invigorate our younger generational cohorts. Because of these generational differences, the leadership industry has undergone a bit of a Zeitgeist within the last two decades, given we are a marketdriven industry and are now working with a preponderance of Generation X and Y work associates representing anyone from the C-Suite throughout all ranks within the organization.

Picture this. You hire a bright, promising Generation X or Y member to your team and find within a very short period of time, this person seems to be losing steam. While there can be multiple variables in play here to potentially explain this nosedive phenomenon, Saratoga Institute reports that 80% of turnover is related to unsatisfactory relationships with the boss. Anytime you have a turnover problem or a boss problem, you have a leadership problem. The cost of an investment in leadership training pales when compared to the cost of attrition. Shop wisely – your goal is to impact relationships to impact bottom line.

Oftentimes our leadership failures are not life-threatening, but when they are, as in the case of Toyota’s response to the multiple reports of accidents from sticking accelerators, it only adds fat to the fire.  I have encountered only one life-threatening situation on the job during my life span.

During my internship at a large, prestigious training hospital, I had a patient whose surgery left her worse off than had she never had the surgery. Because the mishap landed her on a respirator for six months flat on her back, the mistake in her family’s eyes was indeed life-threatening.  I overheard them talking one day, saying, “If we don’t soon get an explanation and apology, we’ll sue!” A week later, the family spoke openly about how much they appreciated the sincere apology and honest admission of a misplaced incision. “It was a human mistake,” they conceded.  Still, I imagine there are times when apologies and explanations are given to harsh, unforgiving ears. Humanistic leadership is a two-way street.

Once we hear CEO Toyoda speak before a Congressional hearing, how will we respond? I have a notion that we’ll see a more timely response to future accident reports, assuming Toyoda offers a transparent account of where he and his team failed the public and how the enactment of new policies will preclude a similar future public outrage.  This may be exactly the crisis Toyoda himself needs to start him on a path of more enlightened leadership.

William George, Harvard Business professor wrote his take on the crisis Toyota is currently experiencing in a recent blog post this week.  To read the full story, click here.  George details Toyota CEO Akio Toyoda‘s actions of hiding and avoiding the true problems have created a leadership crisis for his company.  It’s too soon to tell how long a recovery make take or how successful that recovery will be for Toyota.  To help Akio Toyoda, George offers his advice, based on his recent book, 7 Lessons for Leading in Crisis.

How do you feel Akio Toyoda handled himself and the media during this challenging time?  What did he do that was good; what should he have done differently?

It’s the end of the calendar yer, the fiscal year, and the start of the holiday season.  Family is traveling in from out of town, gifts are being purchased, holiday parties are planned and attended by all.  It’s a busy time of year!

It’s also the time of giving.

We give to our churches, schools, loved ones, neighbors, etc.  Businesses usually take this time to thank customers, vendors, supporters, but we also need to take the time to thank the internal employees who drive the business strategies.  Phil Holberton, leadership and management expert, writes that as leaders, we need to be sure to take the time to thank these employees, not just give them a turkey or other material gift.  Read the full article here.

Genuine thank you’s help the employees feel valued, opens the lines of communication, and also contributes to the motivation for the team.  Holberton writes, “Simple gratitude is the three-in-one oil that lubricates the organizational structure and develops the path(s) of least resistance.”  In this past year, it’s been hard on individuals and businesses alike.  Recognizing the efforts made by your employees will go a long way in helping boost the morale of the employees who have been through the ups and downs with you this year.

This is not to say that leaders don’t feel stress though.  Holberton says leaders feel stress, but that, “We need to identify the possibility for anxiety and be forgiving to our colleagues and ourselves.”  This year, let’s all be more forgiving of each other and more thankful for the efforts of our employees.  We can all understand the outside stresses of family and how it can affect us at work.  With a little more understanding and a genuine thank you, we can all contribute to the success of  everyone.

What does your company do to thank your employees?  Are you trying anything new this year?

Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood. – Freeman Teague, Jr.

The CEO of The Leadership Trust has a severe hearing loss.  Talk about opportunities for miscommunication!  How about the time in a noisy room when someone said, “Wouldn’t it be nice,” and she exclaimed, “And then we’ll become mice!”  Although this is indeed an extreme example, do count your blessings you have normal hearing, yet Teague tells us that there is nonetheless still a lot of room for misinterpretations.  Read on.

This website offers some guidance on how to help increase effective communication.  The most effective things we can do to improve our communication is to understand how others are perceiving us.  In short, we are the creation of someone else’s mind.  Perceptions create reality, and everyone’s perceptions can be very different.  Anybody can improve his or her communications skills.  It is not about vocabulary, syntax, or semantics.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you’re saying.”  Therefore, consider it is all about to what degree you come across as a real live human being with a heart beat, which is all about authentic leadership.  Tough decisions still must be made regardless of style, but if Person A is to be fired, it is preferable that you carry out this assignment as a humanistic leader rather than a tough-nosed autocrat.  Communication skills training provides a natural ascension from your current communication style to one known to retain and profitably engage your best human talent, all the while avoiding the unnecessary repercussions when a firing can not be avoided.

Learn more about how our Personalized Leadership Development Program can help you develop a natural sense of social knowingness as a by-product of optimizing your communication skills.  It’s an exhilarating journey withing, because you just can’t go to the next higher level until you’ve traveled to the next deeper level.

www.leadershiptrust.org